Tag Archives: scales

The sad step, stress and self sabotage. 

28 Nov

So the last couple of weeks have probably been the most stressful I’ve experienced in a long time. I was preparing a job application and then preparing for the interview. Inbetween that I was deal with people commenting on my ability to do my job and how the new job should not be mine. At first you can tell yourself to ignore it but after a while it starts to get into your head. And how did I cope with it? I ate and boy did I eat loads.


There was literally nothing I wouldn’t eat. We have a snack drawer in work and it is full of wonderful and delightful things. I had my almonds and fruit but did I want them? No. while writing my application I would eat biscuit after biscuit. I would get my husband to call into the shops to get me a treat. After the application was submitted comments about my ability to fulfil the position intensified. So what did i do? I ate.


I knew myself I was doing bad things to my body. I was bloated, cranky, tired and weak. After 4 weeks i finally had the interview and my stress levels were at an all time high. After the interview my adrenaline went through the roof. All I could do was go home and sleep. On Wednesdays I have PT sessions and I remember how crap I felt I had no strength and all I wanted to do was throw up. The worst part was the self hate I had for myself. Why did I eat all the food, why couldn’t I control my emotions better? I spoke to my trainer and she said just draw a line under it and move on. At this point I had acknowledged that I was doing wrong and to just get back into my routine. 

The biggest thing that affected me during this time was the sad step aka the scales. I know to stay away from the scales but my weight loss in the back of my mind is very much numbers based. Even though I know that the numbers haven’t changed but yet I’ve dropped 2 clothes  sizes I still can’t get it into my head to stay away from the scales. The more I ate the more time I spent standing on the scales feeling sorry for myself. 


But now this is a learning curve and I’ll be able to use my experience from this going forward. And now to go and hide the scales.

Why I’ve stopped looking at the scales.

22 Jun

I hate my scales but I keep going back to it. It’s like an addiction. I can’t keep away. They are only numbers I tell myself it doesn’t reflect how you are feeling. But I still feel the need to go back. So today was my 31st birthday and I’m probably feeling the best I ever had in years. So what’s the problem? The scales won’t reflect how I’m feeling. 


This was me a year ago. Not weighing much more then I do now. But I was at this point drinking a lot of fizzy drinks and eating snacks. All the snacks. So I got my PT to do a meal plan and I cut sugar. And in the first couple of weeks the results were great but then I went home and then it was Christmas and then it was excuse after excuse. And even when I ate well and exercised the scales were adding kilo after kilo. It was frustrating and I was devestated. So I continued on and ate well and increased my exercise. And slowly my body changed. But what didn’t change was the scales. The numbers didn’t move or moved up. But I could see the changes and everyone else could see the change. I even bought skinny jeans and fit into them. 


I even bought gym pants with design on them. So I have decided it bye bye scales and I’m gonna just keep doing what I’m doing. When you see the two pictures together there is a noticeable difference however on the scales it’s very little. So see ya scales there is no room for your negativity in my life 😝

Weight loss – it’s a Love/Hate Relationship 

9 Apr

  

Monday morning 5.30am and my alarm goes off. Right fresh week fresh start. Clean eating and at least 3-4 sessions in the gym this week. That’s my weekly conversation and it’s a battle. My heart is telling me yes girl you got this and my brain is telling me to eat all the food. This has been a struggle for most of my adult life. Eat when I’m hungry, eat when I’m board, eat when I’m sad, eat when I’m happy. 

This is me just over a year ago 

  
I honestly didn’t see anything wrong at the time. I was working out but my biggest vice was I was eating so badly. Take out a few nights a week, lollies and chocolates in work, biscuits after dinner. I guess in my head I justified that because I was working out I could eat what i wanted. I wasn’t going to loose any weight but if I worked out at least I wouldn’t gain any. 

Then I saw this picture 

  
I think I was at my heaviest here but again I wasn’t quiet ready to face that I had a problem with my weight. In June we were required to go for medicals for our residency. I remember the doctor telling me to stand on the scales and I was horrified at the number looking back at me. I wanted to cry. I remember the doctor asking me for my weight and I said to him oh can’t you see it, he said no. . .  I knocked about 5kgs off my weight and lied to him. All I could think about was f**k how did it get this bad and why did nobody tell me. More importantly why didn’t I see this in myself.

  

 At this point I vowed to start cutting the crap, stop blaming anything and everyone and do this for me. 

I guess the biggest eye opener was that sugar film. I watched it with my husband and we both felt sick afterwards. We were heading home in August 2015 and I was determined for the month of July I was going sugar free. Our trainer did a meal plan for us and we followed it to the T. The first week was horrific. I remember the crankiness, headaches and moodiness. But then something changed, the headaches went, my skin looked better and I had more energy. The numbers were dropping on the scales. I was delighted. We went home for three weeks and of course there was plenty of great food and drinks and cakes. Sure we were on holidays -it’ll be grand. Eh wrong came back 3kgs heavier. Oh crap!! 

  
There was nothing I could do about that so we agreed to move on and get back to the healthy eating. We continued on with the healthy eating, training and even joined a Pilates class. The hardest part for me was when my weight loss stopped and it just stayed and then the scales was telling me I was gaining massive kgs. I have now learnt to ignore the scales and also realised it’s very much broken.    

Then one day my trainer said to me I was going to try some running. No no no my biggest fear. Running. I was like I’m too heavy to run, what if I can’t run what if I fall. And I certainly wasn’t going to run for the first time in my training session. So what did I do. I snuck up to the gym and practiced running and do you know what I absolutely hated it. I couldn’t breath, I wanted to vomit and my legs were aching. But I stuck with it and am proud to say I can now run 5k 

  
I guess the biggest lesson I have learnt is that everyone falls off the routine every now and again but it’s being able to get back into the routine that is the important part. Being able to enjoy a treat now and again but not scoffing to the point where you’ll be ill. And most importantly learning to love yourself and stop comparing yourself which has taken me oh 30 years to learn. 

  
Everyone is fighting their own fight you just concentrate on you and let them be them 💕 xox