Tag Archives: journey

Sometimes things just don’t go to plan. 

27 Aug

It was with a heavy heart that I decided to pull out of my first 10k race. And to say I was disappointed would be an understatement. This was my first 10k and I wanted to do this for myself. 

Lets go back to last Sunday. Hubby was competing in true grit and I gave into that little voice in my head that said I wouldn’t be fit enough for the event and didn’t register. Truth is deep down I know I would have been well able for it but I doubted myself and this is something I have to work on. So I stood on the side lines and supported him. Throughout the day my throat got progressively worse and at one point I thought I was going to pass out. I wanted to curl up and die. By the time I got home I was on fire. I was breaking out in a fever and my skin was hot to touch. I went to bed that night and Monday morning the virus was in full swing. I went to the doctors and he confirmed that I had a viral and a chest infection. I asked him about the 10k and he said just listen to your body. 


So I listened and I didn’t like what I was hearing. My cough got worse and I became breathless. In mind I just kept saying 6 days until race day, you’ll be fine. And that carried on all week. By Friday I knew I couldn’t run it so I thought about walking it. I didn’t want to walk but because I felt like I was letting myself down. But I figured walking was better then nothing. Friday morning I walked to the bus which is only about 10 minutes from my house. It killed me. I couldn’t catch my breath and I needed to sit down. What chance did I have of walking 10k. Even as I sit here tonight, the night before race night a part of me is like you’ll be fine to do it tomorrow. I won’t be – I still can’t breath. 


So what do I do now? I move on. I get myself healthy and strong and I move on. I have signed up to Miss Muddy in September and a few of us from work are going to train together on a Tuesday evening. It’s shitty when things like this happen but it’s a great lesson in learning how to deal with disappointment. In the wise words of my dad, what is for you won’t go by you. Xo

Why I’ve stopped looking at the scales.

22 Jun

I hate my scales but I keep going back to it. It’s like an addiction. I can’t keep away. They are only numbers I tell myself it doesn’t reflect how you are feeling. But I still feel the need to go back. So today was my 31st birthday and I’m probably feeling the best I ever had in years. So what’s the problem? The scales won’t reflect how I’m feeling. 


This was me a year ago. Not weighing much more then I do now. But I was at this point drinking a lot of fizzy drinks and eating snacks. All the snacks. So I got my PT to do a meal plan and I cut sugar. And in the first couple of weeks the results were great but then I went home and then it was Christmas and then it was excuse after excuse. And even when I ate well and exercised the scales were adding kilo after kilo. It was frustrating and I was devestated. So I continued on and ate well and increased my exercise. And slowly my body changed. But what didn’t change was the scales. The numbers didn’t move or moved up. But I could see the changes and everyone else could see the change. I even bought skinny jeans and fit into them. 


I even bought gym pants with design on them. So I have decided it bye bye scales and I’m gonna just keep doing what I’m doing. When you see the two pictures together there is a noticeable difference however on the scales it’s very little. So see ya scales there is no room for your negativity in my life 😝

Whoops clean eating turned into eat all the food! 

24 May

Here we are three weeks into May and for the most part I was doing really well. Running, gym and good eating. And then illness took me down and when I say it took me down it literally floored me. I started off with a scratchy throat and then the eternal tap in my nose turned on. 


I went to personal training on Wednesday and had an easy session as I had my spine and hips realigned on Monday. I didnt really know what to expect from that but at the end of the session i felt great. Funny how he knew things about me before I even told him. He could tell me about my anxiety, my kidney issues and how I hurt my back. After an intense hour of twisting, pulling and back cracking I was good to go. 


I felt like I could take on the world. But then Wednesday evening came and it hit me like a tone of bricks. I vomitted after my PT session. Now I’ve vomitted before but this was different, it felt like my body hated me and not in the yeah that was an awesome session kind of way. I kept telling everyone in work that morning that I was fine, i was in the prime of life by Wednesday evening I felt like I had been struck down in the prime of life. 

Thursday and Friday I was too sick for work. So what did I do? I ate. And how much did I eat? Lots.


Everything I could find I ate. Didn’t matter what it was I ate it. Toast became my new best friend. Smoothered in delicious butter and sometimes cheese. All the cheese and all the butter made for a happy Sinead. Oh having a cup of tea? Sure stick on a slice of toast. Breakfast time? Ah sure lets have some toast. Lunch time? You guessed it toast. I tend to do most of the cooking in our house so when I got sick Marks way of coping was to get take out. Not ideal but I didn’t care. I was sick and wanted comfort in the form of all things food. 

I’m paying for it now, my gluten intolerance is flaring up again and I’ve had upset stomach for three days now. Back on the clean eating and I can say hand on heart I missed it. Will also be glad to get back to the gym. I wonder if it missed me 

Weight loss – it’s a Love/Hate Relationship 

9 Apr

  

Monday morning 5.30am and my alarm goes off. Right fresh week fresh start. Clean eating and at least 3-4 sessions in the gym this week. That’s my weekly conversation and it’s a battle. My heart is telling me yes girl you got this and my brain is telling me to eat all the food. This has been a struggle for most of my adult life. Eat when I’m hungry, eat when I’m board, eat when I’m sad, eat when I’m happy. 

This is me just over a year ago 

  
I honestly didn’t see anything wrong at the time. I was working out but my biggest vice was I was eating so badly. Take out a few nights a week, lollies and chocolates in work, biscuits after dinner. I guess in my head I justified that because I was working out I could eat what i wanted. I wasn’t going to loose any weight but if I worked out at least I wouldn’t gain any. 

Then I saw this picture 

  
I think I was at my heaviest here but again I wasn’t quiet ready to face that I had a problem with my weight. In June we were required to go for medicals for our residency. I remember the doctor telling me to stand on the scales and I was horrified at the number looking back at me. I wanted to cry. I remember the doctor asking me for my weight and I said to him oh can’t you see it, he said no. . .  I knocked about 5kgs off my weight and lied to him. All I could think about was f**k how did it get this bad and why did nobody tell me. More importantly why didn’t I see this in myself.

  

 At this point I vowed to start cutting the crap, stop blaming anything and everyone and do this for me. 

I guess the biggest eye opener was that sugar film. I watched it with my husband and we both felt sick afterwards. We were heading home in August 2015 and I was determined for the month of July I was going sugar free. Our trainer did a meal plan for us and we followed it to the T. The first week was horrific. I remember the crankiness, headaches and moodiness. But then something changed, the headaches went, my skin looked better and I had more energy. The numbers were dropping on the scales. I was delighted. We went home for three weeks and of course there was plenty of great food and drinks and cakes. Sure we were on holidays -it’ll be grand. Eh wrong came back 3kgs heavier. Oh crap!! 

  
There was nothing I could do about that so we agreed to move on and get back to the healthy eating. We continued on with the healthy eating, training and even joined a Pilates class. The hardest part for me was when my weight loss stopped and it just stayed and then the scales was telling me I was gaining massive kgs. I have now learnt to ignore the scales and also realised it’s very much broken.    

Then one day my trainer said to me I was going to try some running. No no no my biggest fear. Running. I was like I’m too heavy to run, what if I can’t run what if I fall. And I certainly wasn’t going to run for the first time in my training session. So what did I do. I snuck up to the gym and practiced running and do you know what I absolutely hated it. I couldn’t breath, I wanted to vomit and my legs were aching. But I stuck with it and am proud to say I can now run 5k 

  
I guess the biggest lesson I have learnt is that everyone falls off the routine every now and again but it’s being able to get back into the routine that is the important part. Being able to enjoy a treat now and again but not scoffing to the point where you’ll be ill. And most importantly learning to love yourself and stop comparing yourself which has taken me oh 30 years to learn. 

  
Everyone is fighting their own fight you just concentrate on you and let them be them 💕 xox