Archive | May, 2014

Mental health. . . Know your own mind

28 May

So some people may know that in my personal life I’ve been going through a bad time lately and some people are probably thinking god we never knew, and that’s no surprise over the years I have become very good at hiding my emotions. I’m constantly the one cracking jokes, laughing and generally happy. So what happens when one day you wake up and you just can’t be that person anymore.
At first it started off with not sleeping, then it went to over sleeping and constantly wanting to sleep, then the binge eating came followed by not wanting to eat at all.
All of that could be confined to my house but what do you do when it spills into your work life. You pray and hope that no one asks you what’s wrong. But for me that’s exactly what happened and open went the flood gates.
For me I couldn’t understand what caused this reaction but once I started I couldn’t stop. I left work and went straight to the doctors. I was a ticking time bomb on the bus home. A sad song would threaten to set me off, people smiling at me prompted a whimper. At this point I thought I was going crazy. The sooner I got to the docs the better.
I walked into the doctors room and just cried I talked through my symptoms and she knew straight away that i had anxiety caused depression. A mild dose of anti depressants would help along with some counselling.
At first I was embarrassed, how was I going to explain this to people. All I could think was that they’ll say I can’t keep it together.
It made me question why there is still a stigma around mental health. After a very long talk with my aunt last night we came to the conclusion that it’s all about perception. It’s all about what you think people are thinking and 99% of the time you are wrong.
After a long chat I realised it’s nothing to be ashamed about. It’s something that I’m suffering with but by acknowledging that there was something wrong means I will get the help and support I need.
Some people might question why I decided to share this but I feel that once it’s out there it takes away from the fear of people finding out.
Remember there is no shame in speaking out about mental health xo