Dealing with injury, weight gain and recovery time. 

9 Apr

So since mid February I’ve had this pain in my leg. At first I thought it was just tightness so I stretched and I stretched. One night in a pilates class I had this pain that shot up from the affected leg and all the way down to the other foot. I stopped moving immediately. I was so freaked out it was like being electrocuted. Ok ok shake it off I said to myself. Don’t be daft you clearly moved funny. So I tried that move again and I got the same shock. Great, I’m broken I thought. 

I mentioned it to my trainer and she referred me onto a sports injury doctor she had seen before. The wait for that appointment was agonising. My leg got tighter and more painful. I got cranky and moving became more difficult. It hurt to get up in the morning, it hurt to stand on the bus and I couldn’t put my food flat on the ground. 

I eventually had my appointment and he knew straight away what it was. My Sciatic nerve was trapped. He tried to lift the leg and I flinched in pain. How can I fix it I asked. Cortisone he said. I booked the appointment 1 week after my doctors visit. Pilates got harder, walking got harder and just moving in general got harder.

The day finally came for the injection and I went into complete meltdown. What if they can’t fix me, I bet the don’t do the procedure here today. I bet they send me somewhere else. I was called into the procedure room and met the doctor. I almost put my foot through the wall when he touched my leg. He was pretty honest about how much cortisone my body would be able to take given the tightness in the leg. 

I fought back tears as he injected and lied through my teeth when he asked if it hurt when he put the needle in. I was desperate for my leg to be fixed I just wanted all the cortisone. 

Shortly after I was sent home and I felt great. No pain no nothing, and then the anaesthetic wore off and I was like a cranky demon. I couldn’t get comfortable I didn’t know what I wanted. After a few days rest I could move. I felt great. I could walk to work, go to Pilates and do a gentle workout. 

7 days after the injection the pain came back and I was back to square 1. I was devastated. I was referred back to the doctor and I’m now booked in for my second shot of cortisone. To help with the pain managed I was given a two week dose of lyrica. Those tablets are the devil. I was moody, sad and worst of all . . . Hungry. I ate EVERYTHING. I cried when I didn’t have enough food. There was not enough food for me to eat. I was constantly hungry. I put on almost 2kgs and it destroyed me. My pants were tight and i felt gross. Then I started to panic about loosing the weight. I knew I’d be out of action for a week or so with the second shot and I needed to get back training for Brissy to the Bay. 

I put the tablets in the bin and I’ll manage my pain with ice and heat. Here’s hoping the 2nd injection works better. 


The sad step, stress and self sabotage. 

28 Nov

So the last couple of weeks have probably been the most stressful I’ve experienced in a long time. I was preparing a job application and then preparing for the interview. Inbetween that I was deal with people commenting on my ability to do my job and how the new job should not be mine. At first you can tell yourself to ignore it but after a while it starts to get into your head. And how did I cope with it? I ate and boy did I eat loads.

There was literally nothing I wouldn’t eat. We have a snack drawer in work and it is full of wonderful and delightful things. I had my almonds and fruit but did I want them? No. while writing my application I would eat biscuit after biscuit. I would get my husband to call into the shops to get me a treat. After the application was submitted comments about my ability to fulfil the position intensified. So what did i do? I ate.

I knew myself I was doing bad things to my body. I was bloated, cranky, tired and weak. After 4 weeks i finally had the interview and my stress levels were at an all time high. After the interview my adrenaline went through the roof. All I could do was go home and sleep. On Wednesdays I have PT sessions and I remember how crap I felt I had no strength and all I wanted to do was throw up. The worst part was the self hate I had for myself. Why did I eat all the food, why couldn’t I control my emotions better? I spoke to my trainer and she said just draw a line under it and move on. At this point I had acknowledged that I was doing wrong and to just get back into my routine. 

The biggest thing that affected me during this time was the sad step aka the scales. I know to stay away from the scales but my weight loss in the back of my mind is very much numbers based. Even though I know that the numbers haven’t changed but yet I’ve dropped 2 clothes  sizes I still can’t get it into my head to stay away from the scales. The more I ate the more time I spent standing on the scales feeling sorry for myself. 

But now this is a learning curve and I’ll be able to use my experience from this going forward. And now to go and hide the scales.

Sometimes things just don’t go to plan. 

27 Aug

It was with a heavy heart that I decided to pull out of my first 10k race. And to say I was disappointed would be an understatement. This was my first 10k and I wanted to do this for myself. 

Lets go back to last Sunday. Hubby was competing in true grit and I gave into that little voice in my head that said I wouldn’t be fit enough for the event and didn’t register. Truth is deep down I know I would have been well able for it but I doubted myself and this is something I have to work on. So I stood on the side lines and supported him. Throughout the day my throat got progressively worse and at one point I thought I was going to pass out. I wanted to curl up and die. By the time I got home I was on fire. I was breaking out in a fever and my skin was hot to touch. I went to bed that night and Monday morning the virus was in full swing. I went to the doctors and he confirmed that I had a viral and a chest infection. I asked him about the 10k and he said just listen to your body. 

So I listened and I didn’t like what I was hearing. My cough got worse and I became breathless. In mind I just kept saying 6 days until race day, you’ll be fine. And that carried on all week. By Friday I knew I couldn’t run it so I thought about walking it. I didn’t want to walk but because I felt like I was letting myself down. But I figured walking was better then nothing. Friday morning I walked to the bus which is only about 10 minutes from my house. It killed me. I couldn’t catch my breath and I needed to sit down. What chance did I have of walking 10k. Even as I sit here tonight, the night before race night a part of me is like you’ll be fine to do it tomorrow. I won’t be – I still can’t breath. 

So what do I do now? I move on. I get myself healthy and strong and I move on. I have signed up to Miss Muddy in September and a few of us from work are going to train together on a Tuesday evening. It’s shitty when things like this happen but it’s a great lesson in learning how to deal with disappointment. In the wise words of my dad, what is for you won’t go by you. Xo

Why I’ve stopped looking at the scales.

22 Jun

I hate my scales but I keep going back to it. It’s like an addiction. I can’t keep away. They are only numbers I tell myself it doesn’t reflect how you are feeling. But I still feel the need to go back. So today was my 31st birthday and I’m probably feeling the best I ever had in years. So what’s the problem? The scales won’t reflect how I’m feeling. 

This was me a year ago. Not weighing much more then I do now. But I was at this point drinking a lot of fizzy drinks and eating snacks. All the snacks. So I got my PT to do a meal plan and I cut sugar. And in the first couple of weeks the results were great but then I went home and then it was Christmas and then it was excuse after excuse. And even when I ate well and exercised the scales were adding kilo after kilo. It was frustrating and I was devestated. So I continued on and ate well and increased my exercise. And slowly my body changed. But what didn’t change was the scales. The numbers didn’t move or moved up. But I could see the changes and everyone else could see the change. I even bought skinny jeans and fit into them. 

I even bought gym pants with design on them. So I have decided it bye bye scales and I’m gonna just keep doing what I’m doing. When you see the two pictures together there is a noticeable difference however on the scales it’s very little. So see ya scales there is no room for your negativity in my life 😝

Whoops clean eating turned into eat all the food! 

24 May

Here we are three weeks into May and for the most part I was doing really well. Running, gym and good eating. And then illness took me down and when I say it took me down it literally floored me. I started off with a scratchy throat and then the eternal tap in my nose turned on. 

I went to personal training on Wednesday and had an easy session as I had my spine and hips realigned on Monday. I didnt really know what to expect from that but at the end of the session i felt great. Funny how he knew things about me before I even told him. He could tell me about my anxiety, my kidney issues and how I hurt my back. After an intense hour of twisting, pulling and back cracking I was good to go. 

I felt like I could take on the world. But then Wednesday evening came and it hit me like a tone of bricks. I vomitted after my PT session. Now I’ve vomitted before but this was different, it felt like my body hated me and not in the yeah that was an awesome session kind of way. I kept telling everyone in work that morning that I was fine, i was in the prime of life by Wednesday evening I felt like I had been struck down in the prime of life. 

Thursday and Friday I was too sick for work. So what did I do? I ate. And how much did I eat? Lots.

Everything I could find I ate. Didn’t matter what it was I ate it. Toast became my new best friend. Smoothered in delicious butter and sometimes cheese. All the cheese and all the butter made for a happy Sinead. Oh having a cup of tea? Sure stick on a slice of toast. Breakfast time? Ah sure lets have some toast. Lunch time? You guessed it toast. I tend to do most of the cooking in our house so when I got sick Marks way of coping was to get take out. Not ideal but I didn’t care. I was sick and wanted comfort in the form of all things food. 

I’m paying for it now, my gluten intolerance is flaring up again and I’ve had upset stomach for three days now. Back on the clean eating and I can say hand on heart I missed it. Will also be glad to get back to the gym. I wonder if it missed me 

When darkness into light becomes more than just a 5k walk. 

7 May

5:15am and the crowd is gathering. It’s chilly and it’s dark. There is an air of tension in the atmosphere. We are all here for one reason, suicide prevention awareness. Many here with …

Source: When darkness into light becomes more than just a 5k walk. 

When darkness into light becomes more than just a 5k walk. 

6 May

5:15am and the crowd is gathering. It’s chilly and it’s dark. There is an air of tension in the atmosphere. We are all here for one reason, suicide prevention awareness. Many here with their own agenda to remember someone that they have lost or to tell their story of survival. One man spoke of his suicide attempt it brought home the reason we were all gathered there.

Suicide has always been a scary word for me. Even now I don’t know how to react around that word. I guess it brings so many thoughts. Why? Was there something that could have been done? Why didn’t they talk about how they felt? The guy who spoke today said he did it because he didn’t want to a burden on his family and felt this was the best option. Depression has always had a stigma attached to it. Don’t talk about it. Sure there’s nothing wrong with you, what are you talking about. But what happens when suicide lands right on your door step? You have to stop and think. You have to deal with it and learn to cope. It becomes very real and you become so much more aware.

My cousin passed away 6 years ago. To this day I still think about it. There are days when it sits heavy on my mind, but the one thing it has taught me is that we have to be more vocal in promoting prevention. I always knew suicide in Ireland was high. Young males going missing on a night out. People to ashamed to say they are not ok, afraid to admit their feelings. The first time I was affected was when a manager from my first job committed suicide. I can’t even begin to describe the shock. He seemed to have it all. He was popular, engaged and was always in the best of moods, the jobs funny man. And then I remember my mum saying sometimes you just don’t know what’s going with a person. In 2013 the Samaritans reported that in the Republic of Ireland 475 people died from suicide. Of that 475, 396 were males and 79 were females. In 2015 there were 554 suicides reported and 470 of those were men. We hold the 2nd highest rate in Europe. For a country of Ireland’s size that is alarming. Not to mention the difference between male and female. 

More and more people are speaking out these days and it is helping to take away from the stigma. Given these figures I was shocked to hear that Ireland’s health minister will be cutting the budget by 12million for mental health services. When it came to debate only a handful of ministers were present. So much for all their promises at election time. 
Suicide with in families is always difficult to talk about. More so to people outside of the family. When people ask how my cousin died I find it difficult to say, not because of shame  I’d shout the story from the roof tops if it meant people would listen and learn from it but more so because of that word and the looks it brings. 

Darkness into light brings a community of Irish together. We can share stories, talk freely and know that everyone there has been affected in someway or another. All over the world we walk. We walk to remember, we walk to prevent and we walk to heal. It’s a time for family and friends to stand united. 
Pieta House does incredible work and fundraising is so important. People need to be able to talk and seek assistance. We can help too, ask people how they are, check in with people. Be kind to one another. You have no idea what’s going on in people’s lives and that friendly hello or kind smile could change their day.